Ten Things my Teen has Taught me – Life Lessons from Relay

My teen daughter’s high school hosts its bi-annual Cancer Society Relay for Life event tonight. Weeks after their previous relay in 2013 they launched their planning for tonight. My daughter signed up as one of the organizers for this challenge. They hoped to surpass their previous donation of $125,000 CAD, and set their sights on a goal of $155,000. As of writing, their on-line donations sit at $163,000.

Why share a post about this?

Because, as her mother, I have learned so much from her in this journey.  In the spirit of constant learning, it is encouraging that your child can remind you of the obvious and your teen can teach you what is possible.  I am inspired.  

Relay for Life is a tremendous celebration of HOPE in the face of cancer.  It is a community fund-raising event practiced by a number of national Cancer Societies.  Funds raised provide support and research across all forms of cancer.  The main components of Celebration, Remembrance and Fight back allow us to honour the past, present and future with this disease.

Here are ten things my teen has taught me:

Lesson 1:  You may as well think BIG

If you have never been introduced to the concept of Moonshot thinking, it is explained more fully in this YouTube video.  It talks about being bold and have audacious goals.

I love the quote at 0:32:

People can set their minds to magical, seemingly impossible ideas and then through science and technology bring them to reality.

And that then sets other people on fire. The(n) other things that look impossible might be accomplishable.

I felt that the expectation that a local high school Relay for Life team could raise over $150,000 to be a bold one.  But it was a challenge set.

I feel that the eradication of Cancer in my lifetime is an impossible idea.

But then again, when my father was born the phrase ‘walking on the moon’ was akin to saying ‘when pigs fly’.  Yet as he cradled his newborn son, Neil Armstrong had taken that ‘one small step’.  Moonshot thinking.   We learn that the impossible could be possible.

Lesson 2:  Surround yourself with a Good Coach and make yourself accountable

There was a steady pressure on this well-organized group of high school students.  The team they assembled was impressive and inclusive.  There were teams for accounting, others for marketing, education, sponsorship, entertainment.  Weekly meetings managed via face book pages drove the progress.  The two teachers in charge pressed their teams to deliver on sponsorships, pledges and sign ups.  The students learned to set goals, organize, prioritize, meet targets, delegate, lobby and partner.  They learned to be accountable.  It was a juggernaut.

Lesson 3:  Multiple Revenue Streams

As you might imagine, trying to raise $150,000 in two years is quite a stretch.  Just as in life, it would have been unwise to wait for tonight to raise that significant a sum.  With a lot of planning and support, the teams focused on an assortment of events, spaced over the two-year run-up to tonight.  Promos raised awareness of prostate (Mustache Day), breast (Pink Day) and skin cancers and promoted good health to help prevent this disease, while raising funds.  Others focused on numbers and getting many students to participate.  With a minimum pledge of $100, the more participants, the more likely they were to make their goal.  Bake sales and spirit events were scheduled to drum up enthusiasm.  Students lobbied local businesses and corporations for donations in kind.  Others events early in the cycle, like the garage sale and bottle return, raised operating funds.  And every event was a PING, a gentle reminder of the ultimate goal – tonight’s Relay for Life.

Lesson 4:  Get out of the Way

I had to remind my daughter that the numbers being talked about were a stretch for ANY organization, leave alone a high school.  As a parent, however, I also had to learn to get out of the way.

And I sat back and watched as my daughter and her team-mates blew me out of the water.

Lesson 5:  Your Motivation Matters

Fund raising started in earnest a month ago.  Each participant had to raise a minimum of $100 for their place on the team.

In order to achieve her goal, my daughter had to overcome one of her greatest fears – asking others for money.  I reminded her that she was not asking for herself.  She was advocating on behalf of all those past, present and future who are dealing with Cancer.  She has always been eloquent.  She is gifted with a way with words.  She wrote a brief but heartfelt explanation of why she had taken on this mission:

This is a cause that is close to my heart.  I Relay for all the people in my family who have been affected by cancer, and all the families I have seen in pain because of it.  I believe that, together, we can create a world where no one has to fear cancer.  If you can help me by making a donation, please click on the link below.  Any amount that you can give helps.  Even if you can’t make a donation, I appreciate any support or prayers.

Lesson 6:  No Ask, No Get.

Full disclosure, I coached her.  Not in the writing, but in having the courage to advocate for others, and in how to get the word out.  I helped her with the email addresses of all our close friends and family – people we knew would be proud of what she was aiming to achieve.  And the money trickled in.  On the first day she had met her personal minimum of $100.

Then the student became the teacher.  I sat back and watched as she put all the power of networking into action.  She reached out.  And then she reached beyond.

Lesson 7:  Social Media can actually make us more social.

First she leveraged my traditional (old school!) methods – phone calls to grandparents; emails and casual conversations with family, knocking on doors in the neighbourhood.  And then she brought out the big guns – today’s social media.

One day she leveraged a WhatsApp chat to her international cousins; another day a Facebook post, then some texts.  She brought in goodwill messages from across the globe and donations big and small started coming from Canada, the UK, the US & Spain.  As we all have grown more comfortable ordering products online and paying with our credit cards on foreign websites, the barriers to using PayPal or credit cards to make donations internationally worked in her favour.

I have learned so much.  I learned the global reach of the internet and the power of ‘social media’.  I learned that today’s generation has so much more power and such a strong voice thanks to the advances of modern communications.  I am proud that tomorrow’s world is in the hands of so many wonderfully engaged young people.  I watched how innovations in global digital payments made it convenient for international funds to be raised for another great cause.  I was reminded of the value in picking up the phone.  I remembered how much easier it is to speak out and advocate for others – a person, ambition, cause or mission you believe in.  I learned how grateful my daughter is to have all these supporters in her life.

Lesson 8:  The Power of Momentum

A week away from the event, their fund-raising thermometer was barely at 50%.  A lot of those funds had been raised through events over the past two years.

The garage sales, bottle drives and bake sales all had dripped pennies into the coffer.  Their goal seemed impossible.  Enthusiasm was waning, their energy sapped.  I reminded her that even at 50% of their ‘moonshot’ goal, the Canadian Cancer Society and the fight against Cancer was already way ahead thanks to their efforts.  Their contribution and work over two years had not been insignificant.

But then we learned the power of momentum – a lesson that every adult needs to be reminded of periodically.  Along with a very aggressive awareness campaign and a school ‘Spirit week’ of events, the cash and online donations started rolling in.  And building.  Excitement started mounting.  ‘This may be possible after all’.  ‘Wow’.  ‘It ain’t over till it’s over.’  As in a sprint, you have to keep your eye and momentum up for 10 meters past the finish line for your best results.

Lesson 9:  Enjoy the moment

This is something I have never been good at.  I get very focused, get my head down, engage fully and drive through each major project or event, only coming up for air afterwards.  I watch my daughter begin to repeat my pattern.  And now she teaches me that it is healthy to change that.  I want her to enjoy the results of all her hard work on the day.  To breathe and engage and relish each fun moment of this fabulous achievement, to celebrate this camaraderie with her best friends all under one tent – all walking together for a great cause, all bonding with a memory that they will carry into their long lives ahead, all taking the motto from Relay into their futures.  After all, isn’t stress one of the many causes of Cancer, and balance one of its cures?!

What else have I learnt?

I have been reminded not to impose my limitations on my children – they will soar past my accomplishments.  I have learned that there is a tremendous community of teachers and peers out there pushing my children to expand their thinking and test them beyond their possibilities – they are surrounded by GOOD PEOPLE.  I am awed by the size of the village that supports my children – it spans the globe.  And I am encouraged for the fate of our world in the hands of this next generation, a generation that still does not know the word IMPOSSIBLE.

Celebrate.  Remember.  Fight back.

This post is not about asking for money.  It is about lessons learned.  Should it inspire you to donate to this cause I encourage you to seek out your local Cancer Society and donate in time, effort or money.  Or just send a special wish out into the universe for those families and individuals who are in treatment, are suffering a loss, or are remembering their own battles fought.

Finally ..

I hope that in our lifetime I will see this moonshot:

I believe that, together, we can create a world where no one has to fear cancer. 

Postscript:

As of posting, the event thermometer sits at over $170,300 CAD setting the record for the most money raised in a Relay for Life event by a youth organization.

Lesson 10:  Moonshot thinking – The impossible is possible.